Get Support →

An Alien in My Own Skin

I'm a real person

I’m 33 years old this year, male.
Sifting through life, awkward socially, I realised I am different from everyone around.

The struggles I face

1. With seemingly simple things

Growing up, things like walking, going to school, and wearing clothes were difficult to me. I walk without the natural hand motion that most people have. So I learned to manually coordinate my hands with my leg movements.

I took more than a year to learn how to balance on a bicycle. I never managed to learn how to swim.

2. With clothing

Most clothing with synthetic fabrics feel horrible to me. They trap heat and my body has difficulty regulating the temperature. 

3. With hunger, smells, food

I wake up with no appetite, vomiting any food. 

I don’t really know how hunger feels. I have no sense of smell – smells are sometimes incredibly good for a second and disappear right after.

4. With talking to people

I cannot talk to two people at once. I avoid eye contact because my gaze is so strong that people get frightened. 

My body is constantly in a fog. It is clear only around 10am in the morning and, say, 10pm at night. I have clarity alone. It seems that everything is calmer after midnight.

The atmosphere in the air affects me greatly. If someone nearby is hurt, my heart breaks. If someone raises their voice, I run and avoid them forever.

I do the best I can

At school, I was fleeting and just having fun, avoiding all the work and fulfilling the bare minimum. I managed to pass through normal education, from primary to tertiary. Not good, not bad, just passing.

In my job, it just seems that I am unable to meet expectations – from customers, bosses, colleagues, family. It is painful many days. But I appreciate the ups (being in a job, being paid) and understand the downs (waking up and following work schedule, sensory overwhelm). 

Many times I just feel numb. 

My heart is tired. My mind is sleepy.

I feel like an alien in my own skin

In appearance, I feel most people think I am ‘normal’. I’m a good masker, but a bad liar. I don’t know how to let them understand me. 

I avoid all tantrums and meltdowns. I would just go home and lie down to blackout.

This has been my life.

The future seems very uncertain for me.

Share This Article

Share Your Story or Join Us as a Community Writer

Project Green Ribbon aims to share stories in a responsible, respectful and empowering way.

 We provide opportunities to individuals, a place for the unheard. 

We believe through storytelling, we can help people.

For Parents & Caregivers · Singapore Teenager refuses help? What parents can do in Singapore. When a teenager refuses help, parents can feel stuck. Your child may shut down, refuse counselling, become angry when support is mentioned or insist that nothing is wrong. This guide explains practical ways to respond, where families can seek support

Read More »

Youth Support Services Singapore

PGR Knowledge Guide 011 Youth Support Services Singapore: Finding the Right Help at the Right Time A practical guide for young people, families, schools and professionals navigating support before, during and after a crisis. Early support Family pathways Mental health care Crisis support Youth Support Services Singapore includes counselling, outreach, family support, school-based assistance, mental

Read More »
Family Crisis

Family Crisis Support in Singapore: Help for Youths, Parents and Caregivers

Family crisis support in Singapore helps families manage serious conflict, emotional distress and safety concerns. Support may include assessment, counselling, safety planning, social work assistance, mental health referrals and temporary crisis accommodation when suitable. Family Crisis Support in Singapore Family difficulties can develop gradually or erupt without warning. A disagreement may become a prolonged breakdown

Read More »

Youth Outreach in Singapore: Why Early Support Can Change a Young Person’s Future

🤝 Supporting Young People Before Challenges Become Crises Young people often experience challenges long before they ask for help. Emotional distress, family conflict, school disengagement, social isolation and uncertainty about the future can develop gradually over weeks or months. Without early support, these concerns may grow into more significant difficulties affecting wellbeing, relationships and education.

Read More »

Community Mental Health Singapore

Who This Guide Is For Community mental health support involves more than the young person alone. This guide is intended for anyone trying to understand when support may be needed, what options are available and how to take the next step. 👨‍👩‍👧 Parents and Caregivers For families concerned about emotional distress, school refusal, withdrawal, conflict

Read More »